i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm both gender and math confused
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
