She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
