im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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