new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
