Swine flu. Run for my life!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We have so much sex to catch up on
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
