the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
