I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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