I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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