great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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