Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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