I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
