The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
