I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
