i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
