Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
A+ Viking dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
