just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
