I hate all girls vehemently.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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