Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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