I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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