one two three fourrrrnication!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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