This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
