idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
