I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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