just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
