That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
