i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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