The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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