The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Let's paint friendship bongs
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
