I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
