a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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