Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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