I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
did you just send me my own nude
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
