So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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