She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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