HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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