No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
