Me too!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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