Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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