i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
