I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
