If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
