I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
