It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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