before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
