really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
