This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
