great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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