At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
