I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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