I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
smell my finger.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
