did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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