she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
