I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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